So this could be quite a touchy blog, one reason is because I would like to get it off my chest and two, I’ve had a good friend speak to me about the same situation. I think many new mums and dads feel the same way but we never actually say anything. Like one of my long time friends mentioned ‘she wished she said something sooner’.
So Jamie and I have been seeing each other for nearly 7 years, school sweethearts some might say. I used to stay at his mums and dads and vice versa. I got on with his mum and dad but never really spoke much, just little conversations here and there. You never have that relationship with your in-laws as you do your own parents. (some may differ).
The time came when we found out I was pregnant and we went on holiday and we decided to tell our parents when we came back. Jamie’s mum and dad cried and was over the moon and my mum already knew (I guess its a mum thing) but my dad was shocked. I could understand though, his words were “but your my baby girl”, however what my dad doesn’t know is that I’ll always be his baby girl and that this is my next step of growing up. After a few days he came round and I would say he was more excited than anybody else. If your as close as my Dad and I, I reckon most dads will act the same. Throughout pregnancy you start to see who cares and who starts fading out. My mum and dad, got us everything we could possibly want and others got us things we asked for.
A lot of my friends are or have started their own families and its nice that we do pop up and chat, it’s amazing that having not spoken to one and another we have something ‘in common’. I know who is there for Jamie, Zachary and I and I’ll be forever grateful but if your not going to make an effort with us then why should we? If you miss Zac growing up then that’s your own fault not ours. It will show when Zac is older, he will be aware of who he knows and who he doesn’t. So if you don’t have relationships with people in your family and feel pressured then stand up and be honest. If they really knew what you was feeling they should accept your decision regardless of whether they think its right or wrong.
At the end of day this is our baby and if we don’t feel confident or comfortable in anyone, blood or not, looking after our baby then we don’t have too. I feel like I’m being rushed into work so people can look after him but truthfully at this very minute I am going to work around Zac. My mum is going to look after him when I am at work and that’s my final decision and that’s what I feel comfortable with. Until Zachary can start doing things for himself and tell people how he’s feeling then maybe just maybe I’ll consider other people to have him.
This is your baby and now your a mother/father you do what your heart says.
YOU do what you feel comfortable with and enjoy the time you have with your little one. People will only make the effort if they want to, don’t go out your way too see them.