I was woken up by two porters, moved onto another bed, my bags plonked on my feet and my baby passed into my arms. And we was off somewhere I didn’t know because I was still high on all the drugs. I was hot, tired and seriously hungry. We were transferred to the maternity ward.

All I can remember was putting Zac into the hospital cot next to my bed, looking at Jamie and I fell asleep. I can’t remember saying bye to my mum and dad but they couldn’t stay because of the visiting hours. I would recommend taking either a long shirt, nighty or shorts and a top because my word is it hot on the ward. Either that or it was just because I’ve not long given birth to a baby.

First thing I wanted was a shower. Jamie got all my stuff together, fresh clothes, pants, socks, shampoo, conditioner and don’t forget your lovely maternity pads. Which when I bought them with mum I laughed saying “I don’t need them, normal pads will be fine” … well my mum was right and now I’m a mum, I’m telling all ‘going to be mums’ get a few packets. Even a 10 second walk to the shower I left a trail of blood behind me, but luckily a member of staff calmed me and said “don’t worry” and she cleaned it straight away. I felt so embarrassed. I got in the shower and gave myself a good two, three washes to make up the days I haven’t had one. YUK! When you feel your belly is now a piece of jelly, not going to lie I nearly fainted. Reality kicked in that a baby wasn’t in there anymore. He’d not long took his first breath and is now in his daddy’s arms probably thinking ‘I have one hairy mummy’ HA!

Then food came round and it was now dinner. I was so excited as I was becoming a little bit hangry. I ordered a tuna mayo sandwich and a treacle sponge with custard. OH MY GOD. I ate it all of course but Zachary needed his first check, and by the time I came back the custard had a skin on it. You know what I mean? Any other day I would of left it but sorry I ate it. Zachary bless him was being so good he hardly cried in hospital. Jamie’s mum and dad came to visit and his Godfather Dom, he had a lovely cuddle with him before we went home. But…

I couldn’t go home without tea could I? So I ordered shepherd’s pie and cornflake tart. Another OH MY GOD. I had to go eat this by myself as it was hot food but I could take the tart back. Meaning my cornflake tart.

The time then came to give everything the final check, everything was packed and Zachary was fastened in his car chair. We were then told my blood pressure was too high. UHH. Thing is I panic when I get my blood pressure taken, don’t ask me why I couldn’t tell you. So we had to do more blood test and waited another 2 hours. My blood pressure was fine but my iron was a bit low. A few tablets later we was walking out the hospital at midnight. Jamie carrying Zac and me walking slowly behind like I’ve shat myself but who could walk properly with them maternity pads? I would of preferred a nappy. At least that would of made me look like I had a bum. Where did that go? Did I give birth to my inner arse too because I didn’t have any! Anyway, when your coming out of hospital at midnight. Where do you go? Home? No no no… MCDONALDS!!!