Did you google it? So you might already be familiar what nipple shields are. But for the ones that don’t know, they’re for mums who are experiencing latch problems or they have been breastfeeding for so long your nipples have become sore and cracked. Yes, ouch! I would advise you not to google that! There’s nothing worse than a hungry, gummy, munching machine biting down on your nipple. You’re currently experiencing the pain right now, right? I had to wear the nipple shield pretty much all the time as Zac was feeding every two hours. Constantly looking like I had been stood in the Antarctic, naked. Unfortunately I took it off whilst doing outdoor activities like shopping or going for a walk (what normal people do) and most importantly when visitors came round.

Which brings us to visitors – take a look at the photo below and I promise you, you need to print this bad boy out. (Wish I did)

Before Zachary was even born, Jamie and I said no to visitors for the first week. But did we stick to it? No. But a small part of me regrets not doing it. We just needed to be more settled and get the hang of when visiting hours were more convenient. To be honest getting my non existent boob out in front of friends and family isn’t what I wanted to be doing. Also don’t forget I had to fiddle with a nipple shield, whilst a rooting baby is trying to suck on everything that was coming towards his mouth.

It’s amazing who wants to be close with you as soon as you have a baby even after years of not talking. You thought they vanished from the face of the earth but they now say ‘shalom’ to you and they reappear. I know babies are adorable and people want cuddles but why would I want a stranger holding my baby? It’s different when your own parents come round because you naturally have a bond with them. Some people don’t so they go to there in-laws. My mum and dad are my soul mates and they’re here to help me with this next step in my life. I mean they have done it twice so they have to be experts. Every time a visitor came Zachary decided he wanted feeding. Of course he did. So either I went upstairs or people left the room. For me feeding Zac it was a task, even letting my mother in-law to sit in the same room was embarrassing. But I wasn’t strong enough to say anything but some people just get the hint, some people don’t. At the end of the day it’s a natural thing to do. I thought I was going to be one of these mums that has no hassle, standing up to everyone that looks at you funny, and maybe squirt a little milk at them to tell them to back off. Think that would do the trick, or is that bang out of order? But now my life was becoming very restricted because I wasn’t comfortable to do it in public or in front of people I knew.

So they’re a few things I learnt and wish I did whilst breastfeeding Zac in his first two months and that was:

1. You’re in control, you’re the one that’s looking after this baby. Only you know when you’re tired and you have a sense when your baby wants a rest too. So if friends and family are offended by a simple “no not today” then so be it.
2. I didn’t do this one but I wished I did. Ask visitors if they could bring you a cooked dinner round for you and your partner or whilst they are there to do your pots. Trust me you don’t have the energy. I had visitors that came asked for a cuppa and left there cups. SLAP!!
3. Some visitors don’t know they have over stayed. Your getting tired, you want some alone/family time and you politely want to say ‘f*** off’ just say “thanks for coming but can you now leave because I’m getting tired” trust me it’s as easy as that. Remember your recovering from actually pushing this watermelon out, you don’t want people hanging round. You’ve become partially disabled and your partner is basically your carer until they go back to work (make use of it whilst you can).

And lastly from me to you, your now a mummy/daddy. This is the biggest step in your life and if you don’t want visitors just say no. The friends and family you have should understand. The first days and weeks are the most important for you and your partner to bond and make the first memories, sometimes having too many visitors can disturb that. You might even find the opposite and some people in your life don’t visit at all. I won’t beg anyone to be in Zacs life but if they don’t see him grow it’s their fault for missing it. You, your partner and your little one just need to concentrate on yourselves. Let people come and go as they please, you’ll soon find out who wants to be there for you all. So if your going to be a visitor to someone who’s just had a baby be kind and ask if they want anything doing and most importantly wait. The baby will still be a baby and be as squishy as he/she was born a week or two ago.

“I shall call him Squishy and he shall be mine and he shall be my Squishy” Dory – Finding Nemo