When your baby cries and cries its hard not to take it personally. But what I’ve realised is sometimes non-stop crying is absolutely normal. They say you’ll know what your baby cry is after a couple of weeks, but truthfully I still have no f***ing clue.
The first few days you think your babies cry is cute and soft and thinking ‘oh this isn’t too bad’, until they’re doing it all night. One night Zachary went to sleep (we took him to bed when we went, at 10pm). He started crying the roof down. I’ve never jumped up so quick from my sleep in my life. To be honest the first few days you forget your baby is actually here, all of sudden this noise you’ve never come across before in the middle of the night has just suddenly awoken you. And up you get. I grabbed Zac and started cuddling him, rocking him and talking to him. Were these working? No. AHH! Jamie was trying to sleep so I thought the only move I can do is go downstairs and sort this baby out. In darkness with the only light coming from my phone, I carefully walked downstairs into the living room. Still crying. Right lets go down the list.
- Has he got a dirty nappy? no, but I still changed it anyway, that didn’t work.
- Empty tummy, wouldn’t take any more food, that didn’t work.
- White noise, was probably just making it worse, turned that off.
- Too warm or too cold , well he had a vest top and a baby grow on, he was fine.
- Motion, maybe being in my arms is what he needs? Nope.
Well what now?! I’ve tried everything in the book. I ended staying up till 4am and he finally went to sleep in his rocker. I got some sleep and Jamie came downstairs and kindly took over. But could I sleep, HA no, I don’t want to sleep like a baby I want to sleep like my fiancé. There’s just this mothers instinct to watch over your baby even when they’re in safe hands, to be honest I still can’t relax now when I am not with my baby. So running on 5 hours sleep surprisingly I was feeling okay. Your body gets used to the lack of sleep after a bit don’t worry.
Some mothers out there are pros, as soon as their baby cries they know straight away what its for. Me? I flap and just stare at him saying to my new mother instincts “come on tell me why my baby is crying”. He’s staring at me, I’m staring at him, both thinking what the hell the other one is doing. Sometimes he even paused to probably say “well come on women do your job”. Sometimes I did have a cry and sat back and thought ‘I can’t do this’. But Jamie was always by my side and made sure I rested when I did and he was always there for a cuddle when I did feel down.
Your midwife will mention about postnatal depression. Don’t take it for granted, I kind of just shrugged it off and brushed that past me. Approximately 58% of new mothers with PND did not seek medical help. This was often due to them not understanding the condition or fearing the consequences of reporting the problem. But when I was feeling low and thought I couldn’t look after my son, I didn’t want to think that I couldn’t. Personally I think its the crying that gets to most mums and dads, yes it is hard and it is challenging, but what you’ve got to remember is that this little human loves you and relies on you. The world is big and scary and all they need is their parents. They can smell and recognise your voice, they’re clever yanno. Sometimes you just don’t know what your baby is crying about and sometimes you have to walk up and down the stairs with them to calm them down, but most importantly you have to keep calm too. You’ll only make it worse because they can feel exactly what your feeling and bounce off you. Get family to help, go out for a walk or even a drive, this will calm you down and also give your baby a different sense of motions and smells.
I still get spells now when Zac is constantly crying and I’ve done everything I can and nothing seems to work so I just have to hold him close and walk around the house until he’s calmed down. What I don’t remember is that he’s still young and finding all new ways to try and communicate to me. One day I will get this and I’ll never give up, this is my baby and he relies on me to look after him and that is what I’ll do. There’s loads of help out there, even doctor Google did some bits. There is also a lot of mum forums you can join, and don’t be afraid to contact a person you know because we’ve all been there. If you have any questions you would like to ask me, go ahead and I promise I’ll answer them. Friend to a friend, mum to a mum.